What I Believe – We Create Our Lives Based On Our Childhood

(Extract from Louise Hay)

Life is very simple. What we give out, we get back. I believe that all of us are responsible for every experience in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by the thoughts we think and the words we speak.

Beliefs are ideas and thoughts that we accept as truth. What we think about ourselves and the world becomes true for us. What we choose to believe can expand and enrich our world. Each day can be an exciting, joyous, hope­ful experience, or a sorrowful, limiting, and painful one. Two people living in the same world, with the same set of circumstances, can experience life so differently. What can transport us from one world to another? I am convinced that it is our beliefs that do so. When we are willing to change our primary belief structures, then we may experience a true change in our lives.

Whatever your beliefs may be about yourself and the world, remember that they are only thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. You may not agree with some of the ideas that I am about to explore. Some of them may be unfamiliar and frightening. Do not worry. Only those ideas that are right for you will become part of you. You may think that some of the techniques are too simple or foolish and could not possibly work for you. I am only asking you to try them.

Our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe. The Universal Power never judges or criticizes us. It only accepts us at our own value. If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become the truth for you. If you believe that you are too short, too fat, too thin, too tall, too smart, not smart enough, too rich, too poor, or incapable of forming relationships, then those beliefs will become true for you.

Remember that we are dealing with thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. We have unlimited choices about what we can think, and the point of power is always in the present moment.

What are you thinking in the present moment? Is it positive or negative? Do you want this thought to be creating your future?

When we were children, we learned about ourselves and about life from the reactions of the adults around us. Therefore, most of us have ideas about who we are that we do not own, and many rules about how life ought to be lived. If you lived with people who were unhappy, frightened, guilty, or angry, then you learned a lot of negative things about yourself and your world.

When we grow up, we have a tendency to recreate the emotional envi­ronment of our early home life. We also tend to recreate in our personal relationships, those we had with our mother and father. If we were highly criticized as children, then we will seek out those in our adult life who will duplicate this behavior. If we were praised, loved, and encouraged as children, then we will recreate this behavior.

I do not encourage you to blame your parents. We are all victims of vic­tims, and they could not teach you something that they did not know. If your mother or father did not know how to love themselves, it would have been impossible for them to teach you how to love yourself. They were coping as best they could with the information they had. Think for a minute about how they were raised. If you want to understand your parents more, I suggest that you ask them about their childhoods.

Listen to not only what they are telling you, but notice what happens to them while they are speaking. What is their body language like? Can they make eye contact with you? Look into their eyes and see if you can find their inner child. You may only see it for a split second, but it may reveal some valuable information.

I believe that we choose our parents. I believe that we have decided to incarnate on this earth in a particular time and space. We have come here to learn specific lessons that will advance us on our spiritual, evolutionary path­way. I believe that we choose our sex, color, and country, and then we search for the particular set of parents who will enhance our spiritual work in this lifetime.

All that we are ever dealing with is a thought, and a thought can be changed. No matter what the problem is, your experiences are outer effects of inner thoughts. Even self-hatred is a thought you have about yourself. This thought produces a feeling, and you buy into that feeling. However, if you don’t have the thought, you won’t have the feeling. Thoughts can be changed. Change the thought, and the feeling must go.

The past has no power over us. It does not matter how long we have been in a negative pattern. We can be free in this moment.

Believe it or not, we do choose our thoughts. We may habitually think the same thought over and over so that it does not seem as if we are choosing the thought. But we did make the original choice. We can refuse to think cer­tain thoughts. How often have you refused to think a positive thought about yourself? You can also refuse to think a negative thought about yourself.

The innermost belief for everyone that I have worked with is always, “I am not good enough!” Everyone that I know or have worked with is suffering from self-hatred or guilt to one degree or another. “I am not good enough, I don’t do enough, or I don’t deserve this,” are common complaints. But for whom are you not good enough? And by whose standards?

I find that resentment, criticism, guilt, and fear cause the most problems in ourselves and our lives. These feelings come from blaming others and not taking responsibility for our own experiences. If we are all responsible for everything in our lives, then there is no one to blame. Whatever is happening “out there” is only a mirror of our own inner thinking.

I do not condone other people’s poor behavior, but it is our belief system that attracts this behavior. There is some thought in you that attracts people who exhibit poor behavior. If you find that people are constantly abusing or mistreating you, then this is your pattern. When you change the thought that attracts this behavior, it will stop.

We can change our attitude toward the past. It is over and done, and cannot be changed. Yet we can change our thoughts about the past. How foolish for us to punish ourselves in the present moment because someone hurt us long ago.

If we choose to believe that we are helpless victims and that all is hope­less, then the universe will support us in that belief. Our worst opinions of ourselves will be confirmed.

If we choose to believe that we are responsible for our experiences, the good and the so-called bad, then we have the opportunity to outgrow the effects of the past. We can change. We can be free.

The road to freedom is through the doorway to forgiveness. We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but if we are willing to forgive, we may begin the healing process. It is imperative for our own healing that we release the past and forgive everyone.

This does not mean that I condone poor behavior. I want to encourage the process of setting you free. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go. We understand our own pain so well. Yet, it is hard for most of us to understand someone’s pain who treated us badly. That person we need to forgive was also in pain. And they were only mirroring what we believed about ourselves. They were doing the best they could given the knowledge, understanding, and awareness they possessed at the time.

When people come to me with a problem—I don’t care what it is—poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity—there is only one thing that I ever work on, and that is loving the self.

I find that when we really love, accept, and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, everything in life flows. Self-approval and self-acceptance here and now are the keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.

Loving the self, to me, means to never, ever criticize ourselves for any­thing. Criticism locks us into the very pattern we are trying to change.

Try approving of yourself and see what happens. You’ve been criticizing yourself for years. Has it worked?

 

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