Critical Factors You Must Know About Your Partner


Ok, so – you are in a relationship. Whether things are going well or not so well – after a while you start to believe that you know your partner fairly well. You know where they grew up, what they do, who their friends are, what is their relationship like with their siblings, you know about their exes. Pretty much – you know everything about them. But that is not entirely true. You’ll need to know the answer to the most important questions too. These are the questions that show who they are on a soul level:

What are your partner’s values: Look carefully at what they spend most of their time, money and energy on?  Is it education for their career, their children, how they look, undertaking adventures, or buying things that the think will make them happy, maybe it’s on yoga and spiritual practices or maybe it’s on you!  Carefully look at where their money, energy and time is spent will give you a good insight into their values. Do their values match with yours?  If they do, all well and good, if you can live with their values, that’s good too, but if in anyway you are totally opposed to how they use their time, money and energy eg. drugs, gambling or alcohol – then run!  As you cannot – I repeat CANNOT change a person – a leopard never changes it’s spots unless it wants to for their own self-development and not for anyone or anything else.

How does your partner treat money: It’s often said that how people are with their money is how they are with their emotions.  If they are very frugal to the point of financially tight, then emotionally they are likely to keep their emotions (and more often their thoughts) close to their heart.  If they spend frivolously then they are likely to say whatever comes to their mind about how they feel, no matter how hurtful it may be to you.  If they are generous, they are likely to be generous with their feelings.  If they have a good balance of saving and spending to a rough budget with the occasional luxury – they’re likely to be balanced emotionally – sharing their thoughts with you as they come up, considering your feelings at the same time.  How do you handle your money?  What do you expect emotionally from your partner?  Can you live with these aspects on a long term basis.

What was the relationship between your partner’s mother and father – or same sex and opposite sex parent/carers? If your partner is male – then how their father treated their mother is how they are going to treat you.  If your partner is female – then how their mother treated their father will demonstrate how they will treat you.  It’s inherent in our genes to imprint parental role modelling for the first 7 years of our lives as how we will be as partners and in a partnership. However, if your partner, or you have become self-aware of your programming – this usually happens mid-life, then this is the litmus test of how your relationship will flourish.

Could you live with your partner just as they are for the next 20-50 years? Too often people believe that their partner will stop a certain behaviour once they get married, or once they get that new job, or once they have a baby…….well it just ain’t true. In fact after the honey-moon period and novelty of the relationship wears off, you will encounter all of their hidden flaws that they have been disguising from you to put their best foot forward to impress you. So, if you think they are going to change anything other than their underwear, you’re in for a rude shock – because afterall how would you feel if you knew your partner was only marrying you so that you changed a certain behaviour of yours….and that’s the truth.  No one is going to change for anyone but themselves.


For a step-by-step approach to making these changes happen. Your first step is to go to

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  1. Delmar Faulstich says:

    It is really a great and helpful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

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