The invisible force behind ruined relationships

emotional baggage

All of us go through breakups in life. In a way breakups are good – they teach us, hopefully, what were our mistakes in the relationship, what are the signs that we are not compatible with someone and moreover – they teach us about our boundaries – what we can tolerate in a relationship and what we will no longer tolerate.

The problem with breakups comes when we keep the lessons we learned from it but we also keep the pain, the trauma from the relationship or the breakup. And as we all know – pain is a lot to take in. And many people deal with it differently- they may try to forget all about it, deny it ever existed, wait for the passing of time to cure all past pain, try to move on as if this never happened, keep bringing up the bad ex and discussing what didn’t work over and over.

But what happens with the pain? It doesn’t simply go away. And that’s the problem. Because if this pain is left unchecked, it will grow and grow and grown. Next thing you know and your new partner in life is wondering why do you react like that, why such overreaction. And on the other side – you are wondering: Why is he / she not understanding me? My reaction was perfectly adequate to the situation.

Has that happened to you? See, when we leave the pain and trauma from the past relationships unchecked, it creeps into our new relationships in the form of stronger emotional reactions to different situations, or fear that things will go wrong again, or a mistrust in your partner for no objective reason at all.

Very often – what emotional hurt from part relationships does to us is – we read the situations not for what they truly are but for what we see them based on our past relationship experience. So, basically, what can ruin our current relationships faster than the speed of light is: when we have a situation in which we experience feelings which are similar than ones in the past – we assume that the situation is the same as the one in the past.

But it may be different, completely different and if we are not aware of how the past influences our present relationships we are doomed to subconsciously sabotage relationships that can be good for us.

Of course it doesn’t have to be this way. I can help you deal with these problems, fix your relationship, and live a happier life. Your first step is to go to



  1. Tim Duplanti says:

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