Stop the Suffering of Change – Change Your Story


Stories are the backbone of our lives; the story of how you:  met your partner, landed the new job, the life change happened to you etc

Stories are very powerful

Because they are filled with emotional charge and everytime you say them out loud, you are following the process THOUGHTS => FEELINGS = > BEHAVIOUR. Note: the behaviour in this equation is the verbal expression of what you are thinking, followed by what you are feeling, followed by behaviour ie sharing a story.

Why You Continuously Feel Pain

Your subconscious is a slave to your conscious so it will do whatever you focus your thoughts on. Read my blog on: “Keeping In Your Comfort Zone'”

Fortunately the subconscious does not know the difference between what is real or false.  It just accepts what we are thinking as true.  Stories are a linkage of all you are thinking and thereby the subconscious goes “OK, then this is how it is”.  Everytime you think those thoughts, a new layer of a protein catalyst gets layered onto those neuron pathways that contain those thoughts, making them stronger and stronger until such time they are firmly embedded in your subconscious.  When this happens, the subconscious is riding on auto-pilot (just as it does with your breathing) creating the feelings of pain even when you’re not consciously thinking about them.

The Secret to Eliminating the Feeling of Pain

So CHANGE YOUR STORY!!! This happened to me when 6 years ago I was separated from the daily contact with my then 6 year old son.  I would sit outside his closed bedroom door and silently cry for hours ruminating about the loss I was suffering.  My heart would ache continuously to feel him close to me. Everything reminded me of him.  I was locked into a self-pity mode that no one could get through or even understand.  The pain was so great that it was unbearable and my health was failing. What did I do? Well, initially I just stopped thinking about the loss and betrayal behind why I was separated from him. Whenever I felt my thoughts waver I would just get present and count the blessings I already had in my life.– such as how grateful I was to have a child, how wonderful I was to be able to be with him for a few days every 3 weeks and how great a relationship I had with him, how he was still safe and secure with his father (despite my feelings towards his father’s deception – he was still a great Dad).

Just like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly

Just like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly

So no matter what your circumstances and contributing factors, you can always turn a negative situation into a positive.  Eventually my conscious thoughts over-rode my subconscious thoughts and I was able to function again – giving attention to other things in my life, most importantly, working on myself to change to become the person I always wanted to be for myself and my son.

Your Back – Story

This goes for ANY story in your life that is not working for you, including your backstory. What’s that?  It’s the story you tell people about yourself whenever someone asks you, “So tell me about yourself?”.  Avoid telling them about what you do for a living, that’s not who you are, tell them about the dreams and passions you have and the interests you pursue.  Create a story of who you would like to become and start telling people about that person – because the more you tell others, the more you are telling your subconscious which will eventually create you into the person you have always wanted to be!!

Please post a comment or contact me – to book a free Coaching Session – no matter where in the world you are!


Sue Storey

Diploma in Life Coaching, Master NLP Practitioner



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