Relationship Abuse – Story of a Survivor

There is no use fighting, it’s better to lay low and just hope it goes away like a very, very bad dream. But unlike a dream, you can’t deny the realism of how you always feel; on edge, anxious, fearful, and terrified – as you never know when it’s going to hit next. I’m talking about relationship abuse from a partner.

Women are known their emotional dexterity, so much so that it is understood in so many religions. But to him-you are sin – sent here to make his life hell and, boy – you’ve got to pay for it! As every moment, you do a mental checklist of all the things that he is told you not to do, in the vain hope that he doesn’t come up with another that your your’e not wary of or have forgotten.

domestic-violence - SmallerBy now the brainwashing has kicked in. Especially after the many hourly lectures and threats he’s made that you start to believe you really are the devil incarnate to make his life unbearable. Even though your resolve to leave one day – taking the kids. But instead you allow one more day, and another, and another as you justify to yourself that the kids need their father, or that you have nowhere to go, as everyone you quietly confide in tells you to leave. But these very same people are never there to offer you a room to stay in or even a place on the floor to sleep, to save you from the torture you experience.

 

Even though they know he’s abusive as they’ve seen first hand the way he demoralises or threatens to hurt you in front of them. You feeling like screaming at them, “Can’t you see he is abusive – why don’t you do or say something instead of ignoring it!” But your inner screams are silenced once again. So you tell no one! Especially as your uncanny ability to detect that you’ve crossed the line goes off like a fine tuned alarm make you realise they are getting tired of hearing you talk about their mate like that, or they change the subject midsentence about your latest throw against the wall.

 

Not only has he taken away your independence and any money you may have had (so you can’t leave him) but he’s taken away your self-esteem, your self-confidence, your assertiveness and any self-love you once had when you were younger, as you are forcefully pushed into his world of control and hopelessness.

 

After all, if the people who you thought cared about you wouldn’t help, you definitely can’t count on the authorities to help! Because if and when the police turn up he immediately portrays his best character that’s reserved the public alone. He woos the police into believing “all is fine” as he turns the evil eye towards you – the one that you’ve come to know so well. So while your inner voice screams, “help me, please help me!”, your head involuntarily nods in agreement with him, “that all is fine”, as you hopelessly cross your fingers that you won’t have to pay for this later as his personal punching bag.

 

Hi public character is who you initially fell in love with the; caring, supportive, kind soul he exhibited. But once you entered the enemy lines of his private life – you were sucked into the vortex of his abusive world. Stuck, doing the things you vowed you would never do when you were younger; becoming a submissive, agreeable, husband pleaser, that you’ve been reduced to.

 

But on rare occasions you get a glimpse of this person you once used to be as your’e pushed to the edge. You unleash the pent up anger to defend yourself, or your children. Only to be quickly subjugated to the realms of self-deprecation as you are instantly brought to repent by the living, breathing god standing in front of you with his harsh words and punishable fists.

 

So you silently chastise yourself vowing to do better in future as he continues to lecture you about your unacceptable behaviour. Or instead, he sulks and ignores you for days or even weeks on end. And when he finally brings himself to address you it’s about, “how are you going to fix this endless pain he suffers at your hands” which only exists in his own narcissistic mind! So how do you fix something that is so very, very broken; his cruel, self-righteous beliefs about you?

 

Meanwhile you self-harm as the only way you know you can exhibit control as you can continue to pray to deaf God for a miracle to get you out of this path of pain and suffering.

 

Only now I can bring myself to openly talk about it-as I’m free! As is my child! This happen due to a series of coincidences which I like to call miracles as my prayers were finally answered.

 

If you find yourself in this situation or worse, please reach out to the ecourse: www.RelationshipRescueMadeEasy.com.  As my situation certainly was NOT easy at the time, but from this program I gained the resources to stop the recurring patterns of domestic abuse in relationships that I had and ended the suffering for good!

 

Just ask yourself,

“Would I put up with this behaviour from a stranger?” OR

“Would I allow my daughter to be treated like this by another man?” OR

“Would I like to see my Son treat another woman like this?”

 

As I am now out of the pattern of attracting controlling, abusive, unfaithful men and instead I have a loyal, supportive, generous soulmate – that I love dearly and can confidently say that I plan to spend the rest of my life with. It is easier (not completely easy) to be able to talk about my experience of domestic abuse in a relationship. I’ve had my moments in my current relationship where I can slip back into the submissive role of “I need to please him, to keep the peace”……..but the more I get to be with him, the more safe I feel to be myself, to say what I’m thinking (instead of mentally brainwashed by my abusive partner) and I’m starting to realise what it means to be truly listened to – where my partner actually supports what I have to say and acts on what I desire for the relationship.

 

Honestly, you can have all of this too – the first step is to go to www.RelationshipRescueMadeEasy.com and register your interest…….it’s a program which is very discrete and as I said, it was what I used on myself to stop attracting the controlling, critical, abusive relationship patterns that I kept attracting unconsciously.

So do yourself a favour and go to www.RelationshipRescueMadeEasy.com as freedom to be your TRUE SELF is there.

Sue Storey

www.PermanentLifeChanges.com

 

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