Life Changes: When Your Life Turns Upside Down 2

 

When it feels the world is against you and that no one seems to care, you’re left alone in your sadness and grief – we often just turn within.

SUFFERING IN YOUR SUFFERING

Pain is Pain – and no matter what anyone can tell you, it feels like hell! It’s quite natural to feel the pain that comes from change of any sort……but to allowing it to consume you, you’re only letting yourself down and no one else. It’s called SELF PITY……..I know it well!

I remember sitting outside my son’s closed bedroom door when I was separated from him when he was only six years old. I remember the pain that ate at my heart and thoughts that consumed my mind. It felt like my son had vanished from the face of the Earth and no one cared. Despite only being separated from him by a 3 hour drive – the pain of a mother being separated from her own child due to trusting another’s words that we would all be together, only to be betrayed and treated as a surrogate was all too much.

I did this for a year and a half………and still do to this day, although I have somewhat control over it now – 6 years later.

IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT – LET IT GO

I tried whatever I could to change my situation, but my life would be meaningless if I didn’t follow my purpose. Our purpose is to follow our passion in life and if you don’t know what your passion is, then your purpose is to find your passion. All else is temporary, and yes, sometime life happens and things change, but we are to learn and grow and through that we become resilient and wise enough to have compassion and see that even perpetrators have good intentions – irrespective of how we judge them.

Grief

SOLUTION

To hang onto what has happened will slowly destroy and eat away at you from the inside creating dis-ease and destructive emotions. You need to be able to accept “it is what it is” and from there the only way to change your life is to change the perspective of what happened.

  • Try to see it from the other person’s point of view
  • Take away your own motives and see what is in the benefit of those you love (this is a hard one – but liberating just the same)
  • What can you change? If there is nothing, then grieve and let it go, remember it, but also remember there are others out there that also need you and your love.
  • Forgive – it’s hard, but just like the story of the old monk carrying a woman on his back across the stream and the other monk accompanying him later saying “why did you carry that woman on your back as it’s against our beliefs?”, and the old monk said, “Are you still carrying that burden as I let that go back at the side of the stream where I left her”……… it just DOES NOT serve you to carry SELF PITY around with you as a burden when there is so much else in life for your to enjoy and people to be with.

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