How to overcome the negative effects of criticism in your relationships

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

As we all know it takes two to tango. But what is often forgotten in the world of relationships is that each of the partners has to take responsibility for what they bring to the relationship – whether it is good or bad. And today I’d like to share my insights on how you can beat the negativity that can turn a happy healthy relationship into a hot mess.

Let’s just take a moment and see what clouding your ability to be happy in the relationship does to you. You don’t find happiness in your interactions with your partner any more. You start seeing only flaws with your partner and start doubting if it still makes sense to be together. This turns into criticism and resentment which lead to a wedge between the two of you.

Should you leave things to continue on the negative path – sooner than later you’ll no longer see any reason whatsoever to still be together. But it doesn’t have to be this way and here’s 3 things you can do to not allow negativity to creep into your relationship and ruin it.

1. Remember that you are worthy of love

I’ve seen this more often than you can imagine. People just forget that they are human and they make mistakes. Mistakes are normal. No need to beat yourself up for it. It’s ok. Everyone does it. The important thing is to have the talk with your partner that when making a mistake, or displeasing your partner – this does not end with the end of the relationship. And the most important part of all this is that even though you will make mistakes – you are still worthy of your partner’s love. Remember that.

2. Don’t create problems where there are none

See, many people have been burned in past relationships and as a result of it are now extra jumpy, sensitive or quick to arrive at conclusions. Not good for your blissful marital future, if you are married, and if not – for the future of your relationship. Start making a distinction between your old wounds and your current relationship. Become aware when you are about to react automatically to a situation which you don’t know for sure if it’s like the old one. Be mindful of the present. Focus on the here and now.

3. Work on yourself before you work on your relationship

Another very common relationship breaker is the habit that many couples have to “make their other half better”. Many marriages fail because of this by the way. The spouses enter into a holy matrimony with the hope that whatever they don’t like in their partner – it will change, they will change it or it will go away with time. It doesn’t.

And, what you can do is to first – enter into a relationship with open eyes. If something was a red flag before you two started  to get serious – it most likely will still be a red flag even when you tie the knot.  And second – work on yourself. Work on becoming a better partner.

Even if it’s not meant to be to be together forever with your current partner – by becoming a better you, you allow for better relationships to come into your life. And, strangely enough, by changing yourself for the better usually has a very positive effect on your relationship too. You should try it.


Of course it doesn’t have to be this way. I can help you deal with these problems, fix your relationship, and live a happier life. Your first step is to go to



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