How To Keep Your Relationship Alive After The “Honeymoon Period”


Many think that finding Mr/Mrs Right is all that is needed in order to live a happily ever after. But this is not the case. Sustaining a long-term relationship takes work. All relationships go through the cycle of Spring-Summer-Autumn-Winter-Spring-Summer etc Spring and summer at the start of a relationship are what’s referred to as the “honeymoon period” – where you get to know each other.  This is when each person is putting their best foot forward, trying desperately to fulfil their partner’s needs. Then in Autumn and Winter, the cracks of reality start to show as what you initially found appealing about your partner – now becomes annoying and you start to expect your partner to fulfil more and more of your needs. So how do you manage to keep the relationship alive instead of dying in frozen chills of winter?

1. Give yourselves a chance to miss each other


In every relationship – at the beginning there is a period of getting closer and closer to each other, getting to know each other, wanting to be only the two of you, happy and together. But as reality sets in and you start to notice flaws in the other is the perfect time to spend some time apart.  Yes, take that weekend trip with your friends, have a week of NO texting/emailing/seeing/speaking to each other, take the time to fill out that job application for a promotion or start that exercise regime.  The saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” came from someone who knew only too well how important time apart was.  Missing your partner is a healthy and loving sign that you are still very much in love with them. So it’s fireworks when you get back together.

2. Ensure you keep many eggs in many baskets

As you have invested so much time and effort on this new relationship in your life allowing it to consuming you physically, emotionally, spiritually and even financially you is a red flag for disaster.  Keep up or bring new interests into your life, because by finding new things that  make you happy – like enrolling in a language, or cooking course, starting to learn salsa or tango, meeting with your old friends, etc. You might see it as a step towards separation at first – but the new experiences that each of you will have is going to make you interesting again because there will be something you about you that your partner will learn about you.

3. Plan a Project together

Most people in a relationship need to have a common goal to reach together.  Most couples plan to get married, have a baby, buy a house, take a long holiday.  The Ego needs variety otherwise it will create dramas (like fights over small incidental issues).  So planning a mutually agreeable project together gives you the feeling of being a part of something bigger than yourselves which is fun, interesting and challenging with a positive outcome.  The excitement of change, plus the feeling of closeness as you have built something together, can only draw you closer – and the challenges you go through along the way will only take your relationship to a whole new other level.
Again – this has nothing to do with how much you love each other. It is about what is in the best interests of having a long, healthy, happy relationship with your partner. Thus ensuring you are not only close to your partner, but also stops relationships from getting stale and boring.

For a step-by-step approach to making these changes happen. Your first step is to go to

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