Fear of the Future – Accept the Worse Case Scenario

 

Nobody likes changes as it means that it takes us out of our comfort zones and stretches us.  In our otherwise safe, secure comfort zones where we a surrounded by the familiar we are suddenly interrupted by a “traumatic” change to our lives.  From a relationship breakup, loss of a child, job or financial change amongst many others.

Change

The truth is that no matter the change, it is painful!!

Initially we try to do anything to “fix” the situation in order to put our lives back on track.  But the moment of truth occurs when we work out that we don’t actually have control of the situation.  There is only so much we can do before we become a nuisance to the other people through our desire to change them, or we end up spending our lives continuously ruminating about situations we cannot possibly influence, making us feel drained and continuously tired.

The pain is a result of: THOUGHTS -> FEELINGS

as addressed in my blog ‘Life’s Outcomes are Determined by Your Responses’

So change your thoughts of the situation and the feelings of Pain will go.

It also means that we only ever have the power to control our own thoughts, feeling and behaviour – we are not powerful enough to change those of others.

But to change ourselves we have to come to terms with “what are we afraid of”. Too often I hear from my clients that they fear what the future holds unless they can change the present.  What they are really questioning is, “Can I handle what the future holds after this life change?”

Zoe was afraid that her husband, John couldn’t provide for the lifestyle that she was accustomed in Sydney. He was a doctor and she was his receptionist. Together they embarked on starting their own business together, leaving the security of an established practice of doctors. When Zoe only saw one or two clients walk into the new business each day she was extremely discouraged.  She just couldn’t see how 0-2 clients per day could possibly maintain the lifestyle they led let alone pay for the rent of the CBD office and expenses of the business.  When I asked her what was the worst case scenario, she explained that they have to live in the country area, whilst her husband worked for a doctors surgery.  When she realised that lifestyle would enable her to take days off to catch up on her reading and relax, she started to see that she could live with the worst case scenario. However we did uncover and reprogram her beliefs about money that she had formulated when she was a child – which was to “Not to want anything as her parents couldn’t possibly afford it”. So with her acceptance of the worst case scenario, she was able to relax. And as a result her fearful thoughts were replaced by peace and acceptance. Now Zoe & John’s business is thriving.

My point is t0: ACCEPT THE WORSE CASE SCENARIO

I’m not discounting the fact that losing a child is a situation that would be easy to see the worse case scenario, however if you reframe your perspective on the situation that you got to influence and love that child albeit for the short time, and look at how much you have grown in love and appreciation for the simple things in life that they taught you during their life. And no matter how painful it is to be without them – that one day you will be reunited.  In the meantime they would want you to live your life to the full……..giving the love you had for your child to children who are worse off.

In the case of a job loss, you could reframe it as a good opportunity to find a job of which you are most passionate about, regarding a marriage breakup – think of how you are now available to create the relationship you have always desired, whether that is with your current partner, or someone you are looking for as a loving companion in your life.

If all else fails:

To alleviate your suffering, go and alleviate the suffering of someone else

This takes your attention off of your own problems for a time and gain an appreciation that you are not the only one suffering. Try it…….

Of course all of these things take time, depending on the grieving process as discussed in “When Your Life Turns Upside Down”.

Be kind to yourself and realise that change doesn’t happen overnight!

Please leave a Comment………or email me on sue@permanentlifechanges.com to discuss how to change in the face of crisis.

Love Sue

Speak Your Mind

*


X

Forgot Password?

Join Us

Password Reset
Please enter your e-mail address. You will receive a new password via e-mail.